Hole in the Head: A Life Revealed Documentary
This film was not easily accessible and so my exploration took me to other sources to find more about Vertus Hardiman…the life revealed in this documentary. One source that captured Vertus’ story in such a compelling way is the blog Color Code written by Nicholas St. Fleur. There is also a podcast episode devoted to his story, one of a series about the medical tragedies of black people in the United States.
In Lyles Station, Indiana, at the age of 5, Vertus Hardiman was subjected to radiation under the guise of an exploratory treatment of ringworm. The families were misled about what the treatment entailed and what risks existed. Of all of the children, Vertus was exposed to the most, recollecting hearing the nurse administering… “Oh my God, I’ve given him too much”. He hid the enormous open wound for more than 70 years under a wig and cap until finally confiding in a church friend, Wilbert Smith.
From the get-go of filming, there was a distinct message of forgiveness that Vertus wanted to make very clear. His intention behind sharing his story began and ended with liberation; of his secret, his wounds. His choice to live by forgiveness is admirable. I do believe forgiveness relieves the pressure of emotional burden, but is that enough?
The premature death, murder by a medical name, the scars. Internal or external, there are always scars. And this isn’t just an isolated incident but a chain of systemic injustices that target people of color with complete disregard. Especially when the understanding is not there or falsely given.
Why so expendable?
Where does forgiveness and what is owed to them exist together ?
These questions that St. Fleur asked and writer, Linda Villarosa of The NY Times and author of “Under the Skin: The Hidden Toll of Racism on American Lives and on the Health of our Nation”, struck a chord. The story demands these questions.
…
Blacks were not allowed above the first floor of the Princeton, Indiana hospital so the children were brought into the basement. Soon to follow were screams drowned out by loud music. After being grabbed from the experiment the collection of kids immediately began vomiting and defacating, their bodies to break down rapidly from this treatment guised to “help them”. The white kids had ringworm too but none were tested, only black children.
Hot stove of a head. Vertus’ own description, his experience of this sensation was every day. He had little relief except the flat surface of his wood floor. The cancerous wound expanded, taking his head with it.
…
I think Vertus is absolutely entitled to justice, and, his choices, intentions, and motivations to love without malice, is enough. It should not be on his shoulders to lead the reparations owed to him. I wanted him to feel angry because that felt necessary, but what is necessary is entirely up to him.
In his legacy, that continues. He wanted his story told, that is part of justice that every person can then take up as the mantle for the deeper change.
This story won’t slip away. We can’t afford for it to.
[Book of Delights pg. 14 | No. 5 Hole in the Head]